Good day! Did you enjoy Second Winter — when Mother Nature reminds us that the calendar is not the boss; she is. “Nearly ‘April?’ Pssh. Watch this.”
[snow sleet rain wind squall]
Lots to talk about this week, as usual, so off we go …
1. A reward
I learned last week that I was accepted into the Master of Arts in History program at University of Massachusetts Boston starting this fall. I’m not leaving Pittsburgh. I was accepted as one of 12-15 applicants they bring in on a remote basis. My application indicated that I’d be focusing my graduate work on using Pittsburgh’s history to impact Pittsburgh’s future positively.
I rewarded myself with a solo trip to the Carnegie to visit the art my daughter always drags me away from in order to see the natural history side, and it was quiet and lovely and I stared too long at every David G. Blythe and every Teenie Harris. Oh, look — there’s my point: There’s a small section leading into — I want to say the Scaife wing, called — I believe, A Pittsburgh Anthology. Look at me out here with my big brain and all my certainties. The section shows Pittsburgh(ers) represented in the arts over time. There is also a spot where visitors can write down their “Pittsburgh Story,” and I stood there and read every single one. Here’s one I loved in particular:
You hear of dreams of living in Paris or Madrid or Rome, but there were several stories pinned up on that wall by people whose dream was to live here. That’s cool.
2. HOW.EVER!
I’m like Mother Nature. Oh, you thought that was nice of me? Watch me unleash my true evil side.
While Pittsburgh is great(ish), we’ve got a population problem and that problem doesn’t just exist on the ingress/egress front. Pittsburghers are dying in greater numbers than they’re being born. In fact, Pittsburgh now leads the nation in natural population decline.
The biggest factor of that loss was the region’s natural decline, which is when an area experiences more deaths than births. The Pittsburgh metro area’s natural decline of 10,383 was the largest natural decline of any metro area in the United States, according to census estimates.
Pittsburgh’s aging population and Covid didn’t help matters and therefore the only possible solution is for you to get out there and make some damn babies. I kid. Babies are not the [only] answer; there’s actually another factor we must look at:
Briem said the Pittsburgh region’s population decline numbers normally are somewhat offset by the arrival of new immigrants, but those numbers have shrunk over the past couple of years. The Pittsburgh metro area brought in a net increase of only about 800 immigrants between 2020 and 2021.
That number is way way way way too low. At Pittsburgh’s height, our population was over 600,000. We are at about 300,000 now. I don’t point that out to show how much we’ve lost; I point that out to show the capacity we have to grow. More immigrants. More refugees. And for the love of God, less death. Get vaxxed.
3. An update
As you recall, last week we talked about that Shadyside couple who were allegedly (lol) harassing a Russian man and a Lebanese man for [checks notes … sighs … pinches bridge of nose] existing.
They were identified and charged with ethnic intimidation and I was surprised to find that the alleged (lol) male harasser is well-known architect and architectural preservation activist Rob Pfaffmann. You’ve probably heard the name in the news before, particularly around the efforts to save the Civic Arena. RIP.
Police identified the couple as Robert Pfaffmann, 66, a prominent Pittsburgh architect, and Lisa Marie Haabestad, 64. Police said they defaced their neighbors’ property, left threatening mail and subjected the Russian man to coarse language and threats. In addition to ethnic intimidation, Pfaffmann and Haadestad (sic) also face charges of mischief and conspiracy. Pfaffmann and Haabestad declined to comment.
Do you know how CRAZY it is for two people with the surnames Pfaffmann and Haabestad to have an issue with xenophobia? They might want to sit down and trace their families’ origins because I have a strong feeling they aren’t going to wind up at any spot on the globe that should grant them any ease of telling other people to leave and go home.
There are some lessons to be learned here. Don’t tarnish your legacy with hatred. Don’t throw poop on your neighbor’s lawn (unless they’re a PNC Park woo-er; then throw ALL the poops). Don’t lose your damn mind just because you hear a neighbor speaking with an accent. And for the love of God, we have a population problem; stop telling people to leave. How about you go instead? But leave your babies. It seems we need them.
4. There’s a what where how now?
For how much of a space nerd I am, I can’t believe I wasn’t aware of this, but … did you know there is a sketch of a pointy penis by Andy Warhol on the Moon?
No, Wendy, I did not just use a Boggle board to generate some random words for a MadLib. My favorite podcast, Let’s Learn Everything, covered the topic of things we’ve left on the Moon and stunned the space facts right out of my brain.
Let me explain. No, there is too much; let me sum up. Picture it! Apollo 12. 1969. Tiny ceramic tile. Famed artists invited to provide a sketch. Andy uses his initials to make a pointy penis. Secretly hidden within the insulation pads of the lunar lander. Lander lands on Moon. Insulation pads left behind. Penis left behind. Penis still on Moon. Now, for a while the pictures of this “Moon Museum” (as it is called) had a thumb conveniently covering the Warhol penis. Here are both pictures:
Here’s the penis up close and that’s a sentence I just typed and how this newsletter gets by your email filters is beyond me:
I want to be annoyed with Andy because you have a chance to secretly send your art to the Moon and you draw a penis? BUT, Rauschenberg drew [checks notes … sighs … pinches bridge of nose] a line, proving again I don’t understand art, which I’ve known since the time the Carnegie Museum of Art featured a collection from an artist’s “white period” and they were literally white canvases and I nearly ran out of the place screaming in frustration. Here are my kids (so young) looking at one of the pieces:
Girl. I know.
Anyway, Andy Warhol’s penis is on the Moon and you’re insane if you think Warhol Penis on the Moon isn’t my new band name. I hope the new Moonshot Museum on the North Side is going to feature this story. P.S. Are we stylizing it Northside instead of North Side as they do? I reject that because I’m old and back in my day—)
P.P.S. Carnegie Museum of Art, I have a collection of canvases that I have painted completely yellow. They can be yours for the low low price of
That’s SIX zeroes. I use Venmo.
5. Random n’at throwback!
Let’s throw it back to an old-timey That’s Church/Burgh Blog Random n’at! None of these are ads.
The USS Requin is opening an escape room. How cool.
Eat’n Park got a shout-out from This Is Us and I just want to say, again, as a reminder …
I’ll never stop fighting.
Jewish Family and Community Services (the organization that assists in resettling refugees in our area) is seeking our help in providing some much-needed items for recent refugee families whom they’ve placed into housing. If you have the means, check out this Wish List and purchase an item or several. There’s a link beneath “Guest Book” for the shipping address to use in Amazon and be sure to update the registry so they can keep track.
An extremely cool virtual literary mystery event is taking place as a fundraiser for Write Pittsburgh, of which I serve as the vice-chair of the board. Check it out and make it a game night!
6. This week in “Dumb Shit Local Politicians Said”
Good golly was this a doozy of a week for local politicians to be ridiculous in their chosen words. First up is this one from a candidate for the state house:
You don’t know what you’re for and you don’t know what you’re against and so you’re running for political office? Maybe don’t? Thanks.
Here’s one from Steve Irwin, who was already on my shit list for calling Summer Lee, who has a law degree, a “professional protester.”
I know. But that leads us nicely into the heavy topic. Grab some tequila, loves.
7. The Rooney Rule
This is what we need to discuss: changes to the Rooney Rule, named after the Rooney family who pushed for the establishment of the original effort to increase minority coaching in the NFL via minority interviewing.
All 32 NFL teams will hire a minority offensive assistant coach for the 2022 season, part of a series of policy enhancements announced Monday to address the league's ongoing diversity efforts.
The coach can be "a female or a member of an ethnic or racial minority," according to the policy adopted by NFL owners during their annual meeting, and will be paid from a league-wide fund. The coach must work closely with the head coach and the offensive staff, with the goal of increasing minority participation in the pool of offensive coaches that eventually produces the most sought-after candidates for head-coaching positions.
Pittsburgh sports radio personality Colin Dunlap has come out against this change, calling it a “hiring quota,” and obviously, there have been those calling it “reverse discrimination.” What I hope Colin can open his mind to, and you if you also think this is wrong or “virtue signaling,” is a different perspective on this issue that you might not have considered.
In a sport whose players are 70% black but only 2 of the head coaches are black (hiya, Mike Tomlin), something is up. And there are lot of other telling statistics that prove there’s a racial disparity that can’t be explained as coincidence and that also can’t be explained as explicit racism. (Self-education. Go on and do the research.) So, when that’s the case; when the numbers reflected in a sample persist in stark contrast against those represented in the larger whole, you have to dig deeper to learn what’s really going on. The answer, my friends, is systemic. Systemic bias. Implicit bias. Institutional racism. Those pesky things we talked about last week that some now claim [checks notes … sighs … pinches bridge of nose] don’t exist.
And here’s a hard fact: the only way to correct SYSTEMIC issues is via SYSTEMIC action, which is what the NFL is attempting to do via the Rooney Rule change. I have a lot of issues with the NFL, but they’re going about addressing this disparity on a systemic level and that’s a big deal. They recognize that they can’t demand minority coaches be given opportunities to head coach when those same people are limited in their access to the lower coaching positions — loves, the statistics show their access is being limited. As I’ve already talked about in this space, we also can’t ignore the VALUE that diverse voices bring to leadership positions. So people against this type of rule love to say, “I don’t care about race. The most qualified person should be hired. Regardless of diversity aspects. The end.” Ah. No. Not the end. Because if you think there is only one best candidate for nearly every position whether it be a supreme court justice or a coach with an NFL team or a supermarket cashier or a librarian, you’re kidding yourself. There are probably a dozen perfectly and samely qualified people for one assistant/lower coaching position. Similar qualifications. Similar experience. Similar records. When that’s the case, looking to see how an organization can increase their sorely lacking inclusion is NOT just a hiring quota. It is NOT reverse discrimination. It is instead a RECOGNITION that diversity is an additional strength. Please etch that statement on your mind. Diversity. Is. An. Additional. Strength. Then add to it: Inclusion. Strengthens. An. Organization’s. Health.
You can scream all you want about white men being ignored or passed over for these positions in favor of [what you’ll wrongly claim are “less qualified”] women and minorities, but, my friend, what the hell do you think has been happening to women and minorities SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME?
It’s time to give some perfectly qualified minority and female candidates a chance to contribute. If you’re mad about it, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just try harder; I hear that works.
8. Whew. We covered so much today! But I still have a bit of space left to leave you with one final joke: