Season’s greetings! she writes like some kind of old-timey postman carrying a canvas sack of letters and packages.
By way of a personal update … after reading up on how important strength training is for women my age (elderly years old) and for overall brain health, I recently started going to the gym with my pilot son who is also a gym rat studying to be certified as a personal trainer. Let me tell you that nothing makes you want to fistfight one of the people you love more than life itself than hearing that person say, “Three more.”
How about zero more and I go home and sit by the fire with some snackies?
So that’s where things are with me! I’m in pain! All the time! Let’s chat!
1. Mayor O’Connor Part II?
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Burgh,
We have us a mayoral primary!
Corey O’Connor, the Allegheny County controller, former Pittsburgh council member and the son of the late Mayor Bob O’Connor, announced his campaign for mayor on Tuesday, setting up a major challenge to incumbent Ed Gainey, who already announced plans to run for a second term.
I recommend this Public Source piece for its dive into Corey’s work with the city over the years and Ed Gainey’s tenure thus far. I have to say I have been impressed with Corey for some time now, particularly as it relates to fiscal management and spending accountability, and just generally avoiding most of the drama llamas that regularly create chaos on Grant Street.
On a superficial note, Corey’s announcement invitation as seen above had a Mister Rogers-esque “M” on Mayor, but on the signage at the actual launch, it was gone from the logo. I wonder if a trademark infringement notice was the reason for its removal, but I really did like that he was using that little bit of neighborhood nostalgia.
Another cute idea would be to slant one of the letters that has a hard edge and put a little red incline car running up it. Once again, I have the best ideas. Hire me.
Anyway, while the presidential election made me want to launch myself in the general direction of Jupiter, I’m so excited to watch this mayoral race unfold over the next several months. Bring on the chaos!
2. Here an emu; there an emu; WAIT WHY ARE THERE SUDDENLY EMUS EVERYWHERE?
Remember this from a few months ago?
That emu that was just casually loitering around McKeesport like it was waiting for his friends to show up and do Jumanji-type things? Well look at this:
This is a DIFFERENT emu; this one in Chartiers, just taking a stroll and enjoying the scenery. Like the McKeesport emu, the Chartiers emu had escaped from its owner so I gotta ask, how many people in southwestern Pennsylvania own emus to the point that we can have not one but TWO emu-escape stories within a few months? Especially considering emus as a species didn’t even exist until 1995, I believe. They say.
I have so many questions. Is emu plural for emu? What do you feed an emu? Are they cute when they’re little? Has anyone ever seen a young emu much like no one has ever seen a baby pigeon (because they are spawned fully formed out of demon seed)? Do they live in a barn or in people’s houses like some kind of giant domesticated house-trained chickens? Are there regulations about how big of a bird you can keep as a pet? Are emu(s) even birds? Are birds real?
As you can see, two emus (emu?) on the loose has made me question everything I know about avian science.
Also, Questioning Avian Science is my new grunge band name. Ironically, we are very pro-vaccine.
3. Whoa, horsey!
The City of Pittsburgh’s horse-mounted division is being disbanded in next year’s budget. The unit currently consists of 1 full-time rider, 10 part-time riders, and six horses. If math was real, I’d tell you to do some napkin addition to estimate what the program costs the city for one year of operation and give me your best guess.
So do that now. Put a number in your head. Got it?
The real answer:
The city spends about $500,000 a year on the unit, which includes six horses, one full-time rider, 10 part-time riders, veterinary bills and general maintenance of the facilities.
My. Goodness! I was so far off!
This feels just like the time I learned that Lukey bought 250 garbage cans for a quarter of a million dollars because apparently garbage cans cost $1,000 each here on Planet Looney Tunes. It sounded like fiscal crazypants then and this half-a-million mounted patrol unit cost sounds like fiscal crazypants in 2024. But I admit I don’t know much about costs associated with caring for six horses and paying part time riders. Maybe this is a very normal number.
It just honestly seems like a waste of money because the other thing is this: I have never once seen a horse-riding Pittsburgh police officer in the wild outside of riding in a parade. We are seeing residential emu(s) with more frequency than we are seeing a police officer riding a horse.
Are they mostly just ceremonially riding in parades to encourage goodwill? Is it about maneuvering through traffic? We have cops on bikes, don’t we? Bikes don’t need veterinary care or food or expensive boarding. Is it about search and rescue to have a higher vantage point? May I introduce you to drones?
City finances are reportedly on the brink and I think this is a great place to make a little chop in the budget.
Now I have to figure out the gig logistics of singing lead vocals in both Questioning Avian Science and Fiscal Crazypants in the same week. I’m really in demand right now by the fake bands that exist in my head.
4. Speaking of birds and bike police and politics …
With my whole chest, I say …
5. Gird your intestinal lining
My younger twin sisters tell a story about growing up in Pittsburgh and having our family’s “special restaurant for important days” being the Monroeville Chi-Chis: apparently when they left home and entered the great big world of college in Texas, they made fools of themselves when they, in the presence of their friends, referred to fajitas as Chajitas™️, the name for the dish on Chi-Chi’s menu as seen here:
To quote this emoji … 🤣.
Their friends were probably like, “What kind of trash raccoon upbringing did y’all have up there in Pittsburgh?”
Now, I realize Chi-Chi’s downfall had to do with everyone getting dysentery and having their oxen die en masse after eating there, but I’m beyond excited by this news:
Tex-Mex fans around the U.S. are giddy over an announcement from owner Hormel Foods on Tuesday that Chi Chi’s would be making a comeback in 2025.
This excitement I feel is wholly related to nostalgia. Kind of like when the whale’s squishy tongue came back to Noah’s Ark at Kennywood. Chi-Chi’s is interwoven with so many of my most vivid childhood and teenage memories. How hard it was to walk on their slippery cobblestone-like flooring while wearing my pre-teen church heels. The dimly lit fiesta atmosphere. The fried ice cream with honey drizzle. The time the waitress accidentally dumped a full tray of margaritas down my dad’s back. Drinking Shirley Temples like the classy heel-wearing mustache-having perm-haired tinted-glasses-wearing broad I was at 13.
Remember this menu??
And go watch this old commercial! Bring it all back and I promise once it reopens, I’ll be watching myself, my oxen and, for good measure, my emu for the first signs of Chimichanga-induced dysentery.
Also, committing to playing gigs with three bands in one week might be my limit, but my country-rock band Chimichanga-Induced Dysentery is honestly ready to rock.
We only accept payment in the form of Baja Burros™️ and churros.
6. Avenge Ann Brooks
Pittsburgh burnt down in 1845 and we don’t talk about it enough. Well, up to 1/3 of the downtown area was destroyed by a fire, to be closer to exact. Here’s a painting created by William Coventry Hall one year after the fire:
And here are a few of the headlines from the day after the fire:
Best estimates put the fire at consuming 20-26 blocks (about 56 acres). Between 975 and 1,115 buildings were destroyed with another 150 heavily damaged. Losses were about $10-$20 million in personal and property losses while 2,000 families were made homeless. It was historically and devastatingly catastrophic. The thing is that when you read about the Great Fire of 1845, you’ll often see a name mentioned as being the unwitting fire-starter who was the responsible party for all that devastation — an Irish washerwoman named Ann Brooks.
You’ll see her name invoked by journalists, popular history writers and historians. In my latest for Pittsburgh Magazine, I bust this historical myth about Pittsburgh’s Great Fire of 1845 and get to the bottom of what we really know for certain about who started the fire.
A snippet:
As for the survivors themselves, despair and anguish were quickly replaced by self-determination and energy. Just four days post-fire, the air that had echoed with the eerie clang of a warning bell and shouts of fear was filled with the staccato of nails being hammered into the beams of replacement structures. Within four months, hardworking Pittsburghers and a new influx of laborers had nearly 500 buildings up or in progress. Thus, Pittsburgh’s Great Fire gave way to a great rebuilding that erased the final remnants of a frontier town to lay a more well-planned and stronger foundation — up from which a true center of industrial might could rise.
My point in writing this piece wasn’t just to correct the historical record, but to encourage us all to remember and commemorate the Great Fire of 1845 even today, for it can be argued that Pittsburgh’s resilient ability to recover from catastrophe and setbacks— and to then build something stronger and better— had its earliest origins in how she responded to that fire.
7. Don’t forget!
We are running out of shopping days until the holidays arrive, so remember to check out my annual Yinzer Gift Guide to find gifts for everyone on your list at prices that won’t get your bank account mad at you. Nothing on the gift guide is an ad! Here are just a few of the awesome things on it:
My friend bought the bracelet there for herself and it looks so stunning. And I saw on Instagram that Umber Chocolates was shipping something like 600 boxes of their chocolates today! My goodness. So be sure to hit them up soon if you’re wanting to gift their chocolates.
Check out the whole gift guide and all the linky goodness here!
8. That’s all for today!
I’m out of space, so no random little items this week. Have a fantastic week! I’ll try to get my annual “10 Best Things that Happened in Pittsburgh in 2024” published this year. Be kind! Shop local! Check on your emu! Come out and see any one of my bands!
And most importantly, when your son is helping you weight train and says “three more,” reply with…
