When last we left our intrepid writer, editor and publisher, she was paralyzed by her thesis, unable to get started despite having amassed 3 years of research. Let’s pick up the story three weeks later as she’s now 100 pages into writing that thesis and just spent 7 days reading and tabulating 3,600 death certificates from Pittsburgh in October 1918 …
Batman is right; my brain is completely trashed. Every single cell hanging on for dear life while drunkenly slurring words scolding me for not doing this taxing shit in my 20s or 30s when they had a fighting chance to contribute. Instead I’m half-a-century old which means they are half-a-century old which means I ask them to figure out how to build a pivot table in Excel and they say, “Eat shit and die, grandma.”
But! Progress is being made in spite of their ineptitude. I had a great meeting with my committee yesterday and I’m on my way to writing something that will be a pretty decent contribution to the historiography of Pittsburgh’s pollution, housing, and infectious disease response.
Let’s talk!
1. Does Ed Gainey need a Snickers?
If you had asked me two weeks ago if I thought Ed Gainey wanted to be mayor of Pittsburgh for another term, I’d have said, “Absolutely, yes,” but in light of a recent press conference that went off the rails, kept going until it reached the edge of a cliff, and then plunged to the ground where it exploded in epic fashion, I’m no longer sure.
As you know, Pittsburgh’s previous police chief made some kind of bonkers handshake deal with Mayor Gainey that said he could eventually resume being a traveling NCAA basketball ref WHILE being the chief of police of a major U.S. city. When the deal was exposed, making Gainey and Scirotto look like complete fools, Scirotto retired to go ahead and pursue his whistle-blowing foul-calling dreams. Needing a replacement, Gainey looked to assistant chief Ragland to step into an acting police chief role while they let the dust settle and figure things out.
Now, I go downtown quite a bit. I go to all the places. I go to the South Side and North Side. The Strip. Allentown. The city is not some den of crime where you should feel unsafe. That’s simply not the reality, despite what anyone is telling you. BUT, yes crime happens and it needs to be confronted and addressed with constant vigilance.
That said, Ed Gainey and Acting Chief Ragland held a press conference the day after a teenager was shot Downtown. They touted their progress on the crime reduction front without being able to give specific numbers, going instead with the tried and true, “Believe me, bro.” And the local media did what they are supposed to do … push back. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE NEED JOURNALISTS TO DO. Do you all get that? Does Ed Gainey get that? That’s what keeps power in check. When that goes away, things get real corrupt real fast.
A snippet:
The press conference, however, quickly turned combative. Gainey and Ragland asserted that crime was decreasing Downtown, but neither cited statistics. The mayor, who is locked in a contested Democratic primary race for reelection, pushed back when reporters challenged him.
“Don’t believe me — do the math, it adds up,” Gainey told reporters. “I’m not here to ask, ‘Do you see the difference?’ I’m here to say, ‘Look at the progress we made.’”
One TV reporter later asked Gainey to compare 2024 crime statistics Downtown with those from a year earlier.
“I’m not gonna speak without knowledge,” Gainey said. “And I haven’t looked at the numbers.”
I am trying to understand what he thinks the difference is between the two statements “Do you see the difference?” and “Look at the progress we made,” and here’s where I landed:
Regardless, your jobs as mayor and acting chief of police are to DO THE ACTUAL MATH. Look at and know the numbers off the top of your head if you’re going to hold a press conference claiming progress against crime. Be ready to fire those numbers off to prove your statements. Bring facts, data, and reasonably drawn statistical conclusions with you, not a defensive attitude that quickly turns to scolding the local media like they’re kindergarteners doing a call-and-response alphabet letters drill. But that’s basically where it went from there, because during this press conference, WPXI’s Rick Earle pushed back a bit and Mayor Gainey became weirdly, weirdly, bonkersingly and combatively defensive.
When Earle said, “Hey, what’s up, Chris, thank you,” Gainey insisted several times that Earle address the acting chief as “Chief Ragland.” Earle remained silent.
“That’s what I thought,” Gainey said.
“The reality is, public perception comes from you,” Gainey told Earle. “And at the end of the day, if the perception is only on the negative, then that’s what you promote.”
Dear Mayor Gainey; the public perception in this case can also come from you, and this was a bad bad bad look.
It got weirder:
Gainey also asked roughly two dozen supporters in the police substation to applaud for the city’s beauty, the work of police officers and the claim that Pittsburgh is in a better place now than it was a few years ago. They clapped.
Same. Energy.
Then Gainey gave this weird impromptu interview to the Ragland and it got so weird even ChatGPT would be like, “THIS IS AS WEIRD AS I CAN MAKE IT. THERE IS NO WEIRD WEIRDER THAN THIS WEIRD.”
Gainey: Ragland, you want this job?
Ragland: I do.
Gainey: He wants this job. Did you do the Downtown plan?
Ragland: I did.
Gainey: Did you help out on Northside when [they] needed help?
Ragland: Absolutely.
Gainey also demanded a thanks for the work of the acting chief.
“What I’m going to tell you is that he has the qualifications and he also has the record of why’s done a fine job for the city of Pittsburgh and, for that, Rick, you should say ‘Thank you,’ say ‘Thank you,’ Rick. Can you say, ‘Thank you?’' Gainey said.
Absolutely unhinged behavior from Ed Gainey. Full stop.
The condescending superiority is completely gross and unnecessary in the face of legit questions and criticisms. You backroom-handshake-dealt your previous chief into an arrangement where we’d have a part-time police chief and a part-time gig worker with full-time pay (baloney on the pay cut agreement claim; no way do I believe that) and you’re upset people are pushing back on your naming the acting chief as chief without some reservations and questions? A kid gets shot downtown and you expect applause for your crime-fighting efforts not 18 hours later? You think so little of the media you treat them like literal kindergarteners being reminded of courtesy rules?
Bad. Bad. Bad.
WPXI has a short video out or you can watch the whole thing (Particularly after 31 minutes in) if you can handle the secondhand embarrassment you’ll feel at seeing an elected official just lose his mind in real time in front of cameras and reporters. Quite a sight.
CommUnity, it’s over for Ed Gainey’s mayoral reelection ambitions. The frustration has set in and he is showing that he is ill-equipped to handle it. Corey O’Connor will be the next mayor of Pittsburgh. Bet the house on it.*
*Please don’t actually bet your house on it. If you lose, I will erase this post and pretend I don’t know what you’re talking about.
2. The solution is that there is no solution. Good job, everyone!
Let me show you something and I need you to not just reflexively scream and violently fling your computer or mobile device against the wall.
Look at this.
I KNOW. Calm down. Actual nightmare. A complete shitshow. Whoever designed it should have to be resurrected from the grave and then locked in a room with a defiant Ed Gainey and be scolded all, “Did you design this innavigable monstrosity? Yes, you did. Did you fuck it up? Yes, you did. Are you a demon? Yes, yes, you are. Now clap for me and tell me I am smart and cool and re-electable.”
That Beechwood Blvd./Forward Ave on-ramp to I-376 EB is a massive problem. It cannot be overstated how much that screws up already-terrible tunnel traffic at all hours of the day because most everyone coming down that ramp needs to cross a lane to get to the Squirrel Hill Tunnel lanes. Weekly, I wish that ramp would die by sinkhole or asteroid.
Good news! PennDOT has decided to do something about this hellscape! Bad news! They’ve presented this slate of alternatives, none of which seem to significantly rectify the situation. Having an on-ramp immediately before a tunnel entrance is the problem, especially in Pittsburgh: The Land That Tunnel-Driving Skills Forgot. This exacerbates the backups at the outbound Squirrel Hill Tunnel and both ends of the Fort Pitt Tunnel. Based on these plans, PennDOT has pretty much just accepted that this is the way it’s going to be until the collapsing sun swallows the Earth while Ed Gainey stands there and shakes his fist screaming into the expanding void, “Did you fuck up your sun-shining? Yes, yes you did!”
3. A brief tribute to Mike Lange
Mike Lange died. I know the younger people might not realize this, but it is not an exaggeration to say he had a big role in turning Pittsburgh hockey into something we as a city felt emotionally connected to. He became the cultural bridge between the team and the people, and he did it with words shouted with breathless, unabashed, over-spilling exuberance. Yes, he was more than his words, certainly, but he loved words, smashed them together into barely sensible phrases that us fans could point to and laugh about and rally around and scream at each other in the hallways at school or work. Inside jokes shared by a whole city that we could print on signs and hang in our home windows during playoff runs. Utterances that became memes decades before we even knew what memes were. He made hockey cool. He made hockey joyful. He took hockey from something we watched and turned it into something we could lean into and say, “We are all a part of this together.”
Yes, winning and Mario were important, but like Myron to the Steelers, Mike Lange was that beloved persona whose excitement and love for the game and the team were so infectious, you couldn’t help but grab on to his always outstretched hand and let him take you flying.
Like Roberto and Franco and Sophie and Fred and Myron, we’re lucky he was ours and his legacy is safe here.*
Go and visit this Wikiquote page full of some of this most amazing phrases.
Watch Sophie Masloff scream “Scratch my back with a hacksaw!” standing right next to the legend himself.
Such an amazing time to have been a Pittsburgher.
And while we are in the In Memoriam file, we also recently lost Jon Burnett, longtime KDKA host and weatherman, to suspected CTE. He was definitely a viewer favorite and this is a loss that I know many in the local media are taking quite hard.
Man, death is stupid. Much love to those who loved both of these men.
*Dear Bob Nutting, you are THISCLOSE to not being a good steward of Roberto’s legacy. Sell the team.
4. Wearin’ and drinkin’ and eatin’ o’ the green, n’at
St. Patrick’s Day will be here soon and since who knows when I’ll have another edition of the newsletter for you, here are some awesome items you can snag from local shops for the holiday! None of these are an ad!
Pittsburgh-Themed St. Patrick’s Day Shot and Pint Glasses by City Paper, $7 to $17
Irish Potatoes by Pollak’s Candies, $14.95 for 15 (LIMITED TIME)
Random St. Patrick’s Day goodies from Paddy Cake Bakery, stop in for selection and prices, but look at all the cute stuff!
St. Patrick’s Day Cookie Box by Bethel Bakery, $18 for two dozen (but check out their entire selection of goodies for the holiday!)
Tough Luck tee by Steel City, $36 (email sign-up to get 15% off)
412 Shamrock embroidered beanie by Yinzsylvania, $27.99 (use code STPADDY25 for 25% off)
St. Patrick’s Day Cutout Iced Cookies by Pastries A-La-Carte, $57 for one dozen
Lucky green bagels by Oakmont Bakery, $18/dozen (order starting on March 9
5. Should we erase Andrew Carnegie from Pittsburgh?
My latest column for Pittsburgh Magazine is here.
I was inspired to write on this topic when I noticed a recent local tendency to paint the legacy of Andrew Carnegie as an All Bad and something Worth Erasing. As regular readers know, I spent a great deal of time researching Carnegie, his wealth, his personal philosophy, and the true motivations behind his historic philanthropy. I distilled my 2,000-plus pages of reading on the man into this column in which I attempt to offer some balance to the debate and argue that his legacy, despite his faults, should not be erased. A snippet:
These are truly damning accounts of his words not agreeing with the truth. And so, some argue, we should erase him and no longer look to his legacy as having any worth to modern Pittsburgh. But there’s a complicating factor worth exploring: his humanity.
I’m sure you can imagine I’ve received some pushback on this, especially in this all or nothing society we’ve found ourselves in, where everyone and everything is either All Bad or All Good. But that’s simply not real life. There was good in Andrew and he wrestled with the way it butted up against what society and his poor upbringing told him was bad—wealth—for his entire life, until he finally gave it all away as he promised himself he’d do (and no, he didn’t make that promise because of Johnstown and Homestead; he made that promise years and years before those events). I’m not saying he’s All Good and should be worshipped with a golden statue. I’m saying Pittsburgh doesn’t become Pittsburgh without him and that’s a legacy worth saving from damnation. Give it a read!
6. Random n’at
Cute little tidbits for you to snack on…
Pittsburgh historians Brian Butko and Sue Morris are out with a new book about Pittsburgh’s long forgotten Bettis Airfield. Any lover of Pittsburgh history or aviation will want to dive into this one, especially with this little back-of-the-book snippet:
Come along as we join thousands to greet Charles Lindbergh, witness a pilot crash into a steel mill while trying to cure a passenger’s deafness, watch the National Balloon Races turn to tragedy, and see a nuclear lab take over Bettis—only to have pilots keep landing on its roadways. It’s a fun, fascinating look at the dawn of aviation in Pittsburgh.
Hey, does crashing a plane into a steel mill cure deafness? I’m willing to give it a shot. Buy it here! Not an ad!
You hear about people posing as police officers to commit violent crimes but I bet you never heard of a woman posing as a park police officer and then offering someone a fake job after interviewing him IN A WALMART. That is not a MadLib. The police chief offers some good advise in that interview—if your interview for a job takes place at Walmart and you are NOT interviewing to work at Walmart, you should consider that a red flag. The more you know.
The Pitt got renewed but Pradeeps of Pittsburgh got canceled. The yinzerverse giveth and the yinzerverse taketh away.
7. That’s all!
Have a fantastic day, or week, or month or even your yearrrrrr. I’ll be there for you when the … You were singing it too, weren’t you? Be kind! Watch for the bicyclists and pedestrians! Don’t get locked into a call-and-response battle with Ed Gainey!
And be sure to get out and see my new band Innavigable Monstrosity.
We just hope the mayor doesn’t show up to heckle us or make us eat our peas.
Bye!